gertrude_baines

Congrats up to Lindsay Lohan, who has made the brave decision to joggle in her 115th year as a single woman!

No, no. I’m kidding, of course. Implying that Lindsay Lohan just turned 115 is ridiculous. Everyone knows her birthday is in July.

The real subject in point of this article is 115-year-old Gertrude Baines, born April 6, 1894, in Shellman, Georgia. Gertrude celebrated 115 years on this planet at her convalescent home in Los Angeles.

During the course speaking of her long life, Baines was married to Sam Conly, with whom, in 1909, she had a daughter, Annabelle – who as a child died of typhoid fever. One of Gertrude’s earliest memories is of taking a horse and buggy to church with her mother, Amelia, and her father, Jordan Baines, who had been a judge. Before moving west, she lived in Connecticut and Ohio, where she was employed as long as a cafeteria worker. Until 10 years ago she lived by herself in California, before moving into the convalescent home …

Not one to make a big deal of her stature, Baines enjoys life’s simple pleasures, such as extra crispy bacon and sweets, as well as daily viewings of The Price Is Right and Jerry Springer.

Last fall, she cast her vote for Barack Obama in the general election. The only other time she voted was back in 1960, for President John F. Kennedy …

Pressed for her enigma on longevity, Baines begs off the question. “She prefers not to have the title [of world’s oldest],” says her nurse, Cynthia Thompson, who has looked after her for nine years and quotes Baines as saying, “Of all the people in the world, why do I have to move the one? I didn’t ask for this.”

Because one have nothing better to do, I’m now busy pondering whether or not I would actually want to live to be 115 years old. That’s a long-ass time to be stuck in this here life. Especially if you’re old and confined to a bed and you don’t really have any family around anymore. And you spend your days watching Drew Carey on The Price is Right. All the old people with any sense left died as soon as Bob Barker left that show.

What say you, readers? Would you want so that live to see 115?

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